It has been a strange few months for The Association. Our last Outing to Riley's in March passed with barely a whimper and April saw The Association refrain from any kind of alcohol related shenanigans. So it is with a head full of dreams and a heart racing faster than A Grand National winner that I find myself writing this post. With less than 18 hours to go before the great Wales Vs Poland Paintball match, I find myself taking comfort in a few cans of Stella and I am sure a few pints of Guinness later on in the pub which I will truly regret tomorrow morning when I am running/walking/crawling around a forest being shot at by irate Polish men and so called friends.
The banter in work over the last four days has been none stop. I have begged and begged people to stop talking about it but alas my moaning fell on deaf ears. We have all heard Mr Salisbury and his fantasist ramblings, Mr Jones and his none stop “I was in the Territorial Army” guff, Mr Hollis and his veiled attempts at talking a good fight, Mr Smith and his blasé attitude towards winning yet another trophy, Mr Higgins acting more excited than Mr Shaw in a dusty old Whisky cellar, Mr Richards and his constant beaming smile whenever anyone just looks at him, anyone who is of Polish descent pointing and laughing at us and two of my most trusted associates. Mr Ian Hulmes constantly telling me how he is going to shoot the shit out of me (Cheers mate. So much for all those years of friendship/hard labour) and Mr Matthew Hulmes constantly saying “I am dead excited. I can’t Wait”, “Is it Thursday yet? Is it Thursday yet?”, “What time you picking me up?”, “Where are you picking me up from?” and “ I am dead excited. Is it Thursday yet?”.
Just remember Gentlemen. Our mission is one up the upmost importance and with that in mind I give you a photo of our most wanted.
There is very little left for me to say tonight apart from enjoy your peaceful night while it lasts. Tomorrow is a new dawn and a glorious dawn it will be.
Sons and daughters of The Association,
This much I vow.
The history of this day will be written in blood.
By crushing the armies of our enemy,
by seizing the weapons they thought to turn against us,
we are fighting for our very existence.
But if there are those who would deny us peace,
refuse us our rightful place in the universe,
than... we will unleash such TERRIBLE VENGEANCE,
THAT GENERATIONS YET UNBORN,
WILL CRY OUT IN ANGUISH!!
The enemy may shatter our bodies... but they cannot break our spirit.
Even now, they advance on our homeland to seize by force, what they cannot claim by right. They cannot imagine what awaits them.
We will SMITE the invaders from our country!
For they sweep over our lands like the sands of winter.
Never again will we bow before them.
Never again endure their oppression.
Never again endure their tyranny.
We will strike...
without warning
and without mercy.
Fighting as one hand,
one heart,
one soul.
We will SHATTER their dreams,
and HAUNT their nightmares.
Drenching our ancestors' grave with their blood!
And as our last breath tears at their lungs,
as we rise again from the ruins of our cities...
They will know... The Association... belongs to The Gentlemen.
